A view from the pew

Today we launch Men’s Month, during which we will focus on the roles played by men in the home and in the wider society. On this first day of Men’s month we listen to the views shared by a son on parenting and fatherhood, kick-starting the celebration of Father’s Day:

“What is ‘the ideal father’? To be honest, I do not know the answer to that question. Parenting is not as simple as some people make it look. It takes a lot of trial and error. I know the fathers do not want to admit this, but half of the time they do not know what they are doing. But somehow, more times than not, they get it right. There is no perfect way to be a father. Every child is different, every circumstance is different. But no matter the situation, one thing remains the same. Sacrifice. I know the general role of the father is to lead and protect the family household, but I wanted to talk about a different aspect of fatherhood.

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, sacrifice is the act of giving up something that you desire to get or do something else or to help someone. The Bible has much to say about sacrifice. Living a Christ-like life involves sacrificing earthly desires like lust, greed, and envy. Yet it is so hard to sacrifice things that we desire for our happiness. I understand why it is hard to sacrifice, after all, we only have one life. However, when you create a child, the responsibility falls on the father and mother to make sacrifices for the benefit of the child’s future and well-being. “Living your best life” gets thrown out the window as every decision made will affect the child whether positively or negatively.

My dad is not perfect. He has his flaws just like any other. But I can say for a fact that he has sacrificed a great deal to put me in the best position possible to succeed. Not only succeed career-wise, but as a genuine man stepping into the world. I never judged you or cared about the circumstances I was born in.

I cannot control and will never judge you on past decisions you made before I was born. What I do know is even through adversity, you made every decision in the best interest of me, and I am eternally grateful for that and for you. Happy Father’s Day, when it comes, to you and to all the dads and mentors out there who are playing their role. You have made us all proud.”

Javier White, St. Philip’s Church